To give a cellphone or not to give a cellphone -- that is the question.
As parents of a rising sixth grader, my husband and I have recently found ourselves in discussions about whether our older son should have a phone before middle school. With AI-driven tools, social media and digital assistants becoming part of daily life, many parents worry about screen time, online safety and digital literacy.
Technology brings both benefits and drawbacks, which can lead to real consequences if not managed carefully. So, how can we guide our children toward responsible use without banning it altogether? While every family must decide what works best for them, here are three key factors to consider: balancing screen time with real-life experiences, teaching digital literacy and AI awareness, and ensuring online safety and responsible tech use.
Research consistently highlights the negative impact of excessive screen time on developing minds. Even adults need boundaries. Striking a balance involves setting limits while encouraging activities that foster critical thinking, creativity and social skills. Our boys love their tablets, Nintendo Switches and iPads, but screen time is limited.
During the school week, homework, dinner and after-school activities naturally restrict their time on devices. Once responsibilities are met, they have about an hour of daily screen time. To earn this, they must complete their chores. To ensure evening screen time, both boys even choose to wake up earlier to practice piano before breakfast -- an activity that fosters creativity and discipline. Beyond limits, we encourage offline hobbies. Josh, our younger son, loves drawing, coloring and all crafts in general. He sometimes spends hours at our kitchen table or on the floor with his sketch pad, bringing his favorite action heroes to life on paper. Meanwhile, Jacob enjoys reading, and we make sure he reads daily beyond his school assignments.
As parents, we must also model healthy screen habits. Sometimes, with work deadlines and mindless scrolling to decompress, it can be hard to unplug. However, if we don't show our children how to balance screen time appropriately, it will be harder for them to develop these skills on their own. I intentionally leave my phone upstairs during dinner, creating space for meaningful interactions as we can engage in conversation about our day at school and work. This practice has helped my children cultivate their ability to engage in conversation and develop better communication skills as we discuss the day's events over supper.
Helping kids navigate technology responsibly means equipping them with digital literacy and AI awareness. Digital literacy includes finding and evaluating information, creating and sharing content, and communicating effectively -- essential skills in today's world. While schools teach many of these, parents should reinforce them at home. AI awareness is equally important. Kids need to understand both the capabilities and limitations of AI, as well as the ethical considerations of its use.
We encourage our children to seek reputable sources online and remind them that not everything they read is true. By teaching them to compare sources, analyze information critically and form their own opinions, we prepare them to navigate digital spaces more responsibly -- whether it's Google or social media. Technology is a powerful tool with limitless creative potential, but it must be used wisely.
Among all considerations, online safety is perhaps the most critical. While screen time limits may vary by age, online safety is non-negotiable. The internet has risks, from scams like identity theft and purposeful spreading of misinformation to cyberbullying and online predators. Teaching safe online habits is essential. This means having open and honest dialogue with your kids daily. We foster open conversations about digital interactions, ask about screen time habits and stay alert for behavioral changes that might indicate a problem. Parents set the tone for their children's digital behavior, and consistent guidance is key.
Ultimately, we've decided that our older son will not be getting a cellphone next year. While this may not be a popular choice, we recognize that every family makes decisions based on their own circumstances. At this stage, he relies on us for transportation, and we take him wherever he needs to be. As a compromise, we plan to get him a smartwatch for communication when necessary. As he grows, we will reassess and determine when a cellphone becomes a necessity.
We know we can't delay it forever, but for now, we'll continue reinforcing safe and responsible technology use. By the time our kids do have cellphones, they will understand the responsibility that comes with them -- and we'll feel more confident they are prepared to use them wisely.